This week's Spin Cycle is all about laughter. What makes you laugh so hard that you end up with Coke On YOUR Keyboard? For my Spin I'm going to repost an entry from just a few days ago.

For those of you who've already seen this entry, skip down to the stars at the bottom because I've added more info.

For those who haven't seen it.. I hope you enjoy. =D

Last Monday, I took a trip to the gas station (18 miles round trip) and got Coke & bread. Guess what I drove. Yeah... The hearse... *shivers* I kept doddling and seriously just didn't want to drive that thing. As I got ready to leave, I told The Ol' Man "I'll be back soon... if the zombies don't eat me." His response?? "It's not the zombies you have to worry about. It's the creepy black shadows that jump around in the back." GUH!!!!!!! Ass!! Like I SERIOUSLY needed to hear that!!

I went out and checked to make sure I could open the gas cap. Didn't feel the need to drive 9 miles and figure out I was too stupid to operate it.... or unlock it. Then I peeked into the back to make sure there were no zombies, cats, homeless people or monsters in there. Unlocked the door and got in. At this point I'm totally surprised to see that my brother has removed the window that once separated the driver from the boogieman casket. Crap...

Then I had a nice little conversation with myself about how stupid I was being.

Self, you're being stupid. Don't be a sissy about this. It's not like they carried souls in the car.
What is that smell?
I mean, by the time the hearse got the body, it was nothing more than skin & bones. There weren't even organs left. Right?
Seriously - What the hell is that smell?
I mean... the ambulance always picked up the body to take it to the morgue... right? Or a coroner's car maybe. Hell, a minivan came and got Grandma.
How bad would that suck? If one of my last rides is in a minivan, I will come back and haunt everyone that had anything to do with it. Oh man. What if someone else had to ride in a minivan? I bet that ticked them off. What if....
They don't use the hearse for this sort of stuff. Only for transferring from the funeral home to the cemetery.
If someone comments to set me straight on this lie I've convinced myself of.. so help me....
Okay, just turn around, start it up and go. Oh, check that out. This dash is just like the Caddy I drove in high school. That's cool.
What was that? Is there someone behind me?
Cool. It even does the self leveling thing. Holy crap it's cold. Where's the heater. Does this thing even have a heater?
You don't want a heater in a hearse dumbass. Hot dead bodies stink.
Oh, there's the heater buttons. I forgot they hide them in these Cadillacs.
Oh man, is that what that smell is? Did someone put the heater on too hot? Is that dead body stench? Maybe it's formaldehyde.
Aww yes. Heat. I thought they said it was suppose to be warm today. Lyin' asses. Alright, let's see if I can pull this thing out of here without hitting anything or getting stuck in the mud.

Holy crap someone needs to bleed these brakes.
Bleed... bleeding... blood. I wonder if blood ever spilled out into the back of the car. No. No blood. Just skin & bones. Skin.and.bones!
Why is this jerk on my ass? He's gonna end up slamming into me and killing us both.
How ironic would it be to die in a hearse.
Yeah... just keep starin' asswod. Yes I'm a girl. Yes I'm driving a hearse. Pass me and get it over with.
OMG What if he sees something behind me. Maybe I can't see it because the reflection won't show up in the mirror. You can't see vampires in mirrors right?
Is this speedometer wrong? Why is everyone passing me? I'm going 62. That's well over the speed limit. Okay. This guy's staring at me, too. What is wrong with these people?
OMG What was that!?? I saw something. There's something behind me. Oh.... that was my head in the mirror.
Let's just adjust this mirror here... Why is there even a mirror in this thing? It's not like you can see out the back with all these curtains.
Maybe it's so you can see them when they reach out to grab your head and suck your brains out through your ear.
Go idiot! You have the right of way. See, when you get to the 4-way stop before me, you go first. Frickin' morons! I swear!!

OMG it's cold out here. I knew I was gonna be pumping gas. I should've worn gloves.
*peek into back of car* No boogie man. *go in and pay* *peek into car* No boogie man.
Go idiot!! Come on! People in this town shouldn't be allowed to have licenses.

Wow! Is that a coyote? That looks a lot like my dog. I always thought she was probably part coyote but now that I see that one running....
OMG What was that? Ok. I definitely saw something that time. I am not driving this stupid thing again.
I really do think she must be part coyote.

*walk through the front door*
Ol Man - "So, how was it? Were you all freaked out?"
Me - "I was fine. I was only kidding about being spooked. Ya know, if it had room for more than 3 people to ride in it, I'd actually think about keeping it. But, since it doesn't, I guess we have to get rid of it. That kinda bums me out."

LmAo -- SHuT Up!

********

So last night... Hubby gets home late and I'm too tired to cook dinner and I suggest we order a pizza. We live out in the middle of no where and pizza places don't deliver this far out in the boonies. This meant that I'd have to go get the pizza myself.

Fast forward to 25 minutes later... I'm in the car. And it's dark. Very dark. I look into my rear view mirror and I KID YOU NOT!!! There was a shadow behind me. And not one of my imaginary shadows!!!

I didn't just glance at this shadow. No, I studied it. Because this time, I knew it was ACTUALLY there. It was there! And it was behind me! And I was petrified.

So I'm sittin' there 100% freaked out. Staring at this shadow that's behind me on the door and I start contemplating my escape route.

Dead serious... I start thinking about bailing out of this car at 60 mile an hour!! Had my 8 year old not been riding shot gun, I may have actually jumped.

But then... the shadow was gone!!!
OMG Where did it go? Did it move closer? Is it right behind me now? I'm dead. I'm gonna die. This thing is gonna reach out and grab hold of me.

Pictures of Eleanor from The Haunting start flashing through my mind and I'm waiting for my hair to start moving. And then... the shadow was back. It was back. And in the same spot. No doubt about it, this was not a figment of my overactive imagination.

All of a sudden, something made my leg itch. Not wanting to lose sight of the shadow and allow it to sneak up on me while I wasn't looking, I carefully stared in my rear view mirror as I leaned down to scratch my leg. As I bent down I noticed that the shadow moved, too. This of course scared the crap out of me and I sat straight back up in my seat. And again... the shadow moved. This time growing taller.

With a very puzzled look on my face, I pushed the fear aside, leaned down again and watched the shadow move with me. I sat up... and so did the shadow.

It was at this moment that I realized that I am, in fact, afraid of my own shadow.

So let this be a lesson to you. You should never consider jumping out of a moving car because you believe there are ghostly spirits hitching a ride. It's just a really bad idea!

Now head over to The Daily Wit and share a bad idea.

And don't forget to have your Spin finished & submitted by February 20th.

Now that my panic attack has slightly subsided, let me tell you what just happened.

My son rides the bus home from school and generally arrives between 3:30 and 3:35. At 3:45 I started to wonder where he was.

3:50 - I started to worry. I called next door to see if he'd gone to my in-laws'. Thoughts of crazy students with guns & my son hiding under a desk in terror & overturned busses with dead children started flowing through my mind.

3:55 - I went outside in hopes of seeing the bus come over the hill. I was met in the yard by an in-law and was informed that there were tornadoes in The Ol' Man's path. This was in addition to the knowledge I received from The Stiletto Mom this morning about gale force winds and hail in his destination point of Texas, which already had me worried.

4:00 - I called the grade school 3 times with no answer and was apparently freaking out because, for the life of me, I couldn't remember a single phone number out of the 4 I have.

4:05 - I tried to find the high school's phone number with no luck. Tried to find the bus driver's number with no luck. Tried to call my mom because I know she has his number... no luck.

4:10 - Called next door again. Called the grade school a few more times and recited the phone numbers that I had written down.

4:15 - I'm fully dressed and ready to go out the door when babysitter comes in.

4:17 - Luigi walks through the front door, we all let out a huge sigh of relief and begin the "Where Were You?!?!?" questioning as well as the ranting about the lack of contact from the school.

Apparently, the bus got stuck in deep mud in someone's drive-way.

4:20 - I try to get hold of hubby. No answer. Try again. No answer. Great!!! A tornado has picked up his truck and slung him who knows where!! He's probably dead. Or hurt and stuck under his truck in a field where no one will find him for days. ANSWER THE PHONE!!!!

4:25 - Hubby finally answers the phone. He says everything's fine. The weather is beautiful. We chat for a minute and he's instructed to call his dad.

4:30 - I remember that while I was outside, I checked the mail and received a package. I retrieve the package and don't recognize the name on it. I open it in anticipation of some wonderful gift that one of my new found blogging friends has sent me. What will it be?? I'm so excited!!!

Parts for a saw?? Meh....... I totally forgot I had ordered chainsaw parts from eBay. Talk about disappointed.

4:45 - All is well in Over Active Imagination Land.

Being a truck driver's wife has its moments. Yes, it's nice to not have that extra person to clean up after & cook for. But I'd trade that in in a heartbeat to have my honey home with me & to be able to see him daily.

I'd love to be able to send him messages throughout the day & quick notes to tell him that the kids & I are thinking about him.

Have you seen this new thing called the Peek? 20 bucks a month and no contract! I so want one!!
You, too? Well... check out this giveaway at Musings of A Housewife.

The Ol' Man just left for another week on the road. He's going back to Texas again. Let that be warning to anyone who lives between Illinois & Texas. Bad weather is on your way! Remember last week when Kentucky, Arkansas & even Texas froze over? Yeah. Totally The Ol' Man's fault. Bad weather follows him wherever he goes. Actually, it doesn't follow him. It tries to stay about 10 miles ahead of him.

I took a trip to the gas station this morning (18 miles round trip) and got Coke & bread. Guess what I drove. Yeah... The hearse... *shivers* I kept doddling and seriously just didn't want to drive that thing. As I got ready to leave, I told The Ol' Man "I'll be back soon... if the zombies don't eat me." His response?? "It's not the zombies you have to worry about. It's the creepy black shadows that jump around in the back." GUH!!!!!!! Ass!! Like I SERIOUSLY needed to hear that!!

I went out and checked to make sure I could open the gas cap. Didn't feel the need to drive 9 miles and figure out I was too stupid to operate it.... or unlock it. Then I peeked into the back to make sure there were no zombies, cats, homeless people or monsters in there. Unlocked the door and got in. At this point I'm totally surprised to see that my brother has removed the window that once separated the driver from the boogieman casket. Crap...

Then I had a nice little conversation with myself about how stupid I was being.

Self, you're being stupid. Don't be a sissy about this. It's not like they carried souls in the car.
What is that smell?
I mean, by the time the hearse got the body, it was nothing more than skin & bones. There weren't even organs left. Right?
Seriously - What the hell is that smell?
I mean... the ambulance always picked up the body to take it to the morgue... right? Or a coroner's car maybe. Hell, a minivan came and got Grandma.
How bad would that suck? If one of my last rides is in a minivan, I will come back and haunt everyone that had anything to do with it. Oh man. What if someone else had to ride in a minivan? I bet that ticked them off. What if....
They don't use the hearse for this sort of stuff. Only for transferring from the funeral home to the cemetery.
If someone comments to set me straight on this lie I've convinced myself of.. so help me....
Okay, just turn around, start it up and go. Oh, check that out. This dash is just like the Caddy I drove in high school. That's cool.
What was that? Is there someone behind me?
Cool. It even does the self leveling thing. Holy crap it's cold. Where's the heater. Does this thing even have a heater?
You don't want a heater in a hearse dumbass. Hot dead bodies stink.
Oh, there's the heater buttons. I forgot they hide them in these Cadillacs.
Oh man, is that what that smell is? Did someone put the heater on too hot? Is that dead body stench? Maybe it's formaldehyde.
Aww yes. Heat. I thought they said it was suppose to be warm today. Lyin' asses. Alright, let's see if I can pull this thing out of here without hitting anything or getting stuck in the mud.

Holy crap someone needs to bleed these brakes.
Bleed... bleeding... blood. I wonder if blood ever spilled out into the back of the car. No. No blood. Just skin & bones. Skin.and.bones!
Why is this jerk on my ass? He's gonna end up slamming into me and killing us both.
How ironic would it be to die in a hearse.
Yeah... just keep starin' asswod. Yes I'm a girl. Yes I'm driving a hearse. Pass me and get it over with.
OMG What if he sees something behind me. Maybe I can't see it because the reflection won't show up in the mirror. You can't see vampires in mirrors right?
Is this speedometer wrong? Why is everyone passing me? I'm going 62. That's well over the speed limit. Okay. This guy's staring at me, too. What is wrong with these people?
OMG What was that!?? I saw something. There's something behind me. Oh.... that was my head in the mirror.
Let's just adjust this mirror here... Why is there even a mirror in this thing? It's not like you can see out the back with all these curtains.
Maybe it's so you can see them when they reach out to grab your head and suck your brains out through your ear.
Go idiot! You have the right of way. See, when you get to the 4-way stop before me, you go first. Frickin' morons! I swear!!

OMG it's cold out here. I knew I was gonna be pumping gas. I should've worn gloves.
*peek into back of car* No boogie man. *go in and pay* *peek into car* No boogie man.
Go idiot!! Come on! People in this town shouldn't be allowed to have licenses.

Wow! Is that a coyote? That looks a lot like my dog. I always thought she was probably part coyote but now that I see that one running....
OMG What was that? Ok. I definitely saw something that time. I am not driving this stupid thing again.
I really do think she must be part coyote.

*walk through the front door*
Ol Man - "So, how was it? Were you all freaked out?"
Me - "I was fine. I was only kidding about being spooked. Ya know, if it had room for more than 3 people to ride in it, I'd actually think about keeping it. But, since it doesn't, I guess we have to get rid of it. That kinda bums me out."

LmAo -- SHuT Up!

... And head over to Text Imps cuz I put up the Post of the Week & Site of the Week last night.

About 30 minutes ago, the Ol' Man asked "Who wants to go take a ride in the hearse?"
Princess - No way!
Tab - ME!
Luigi - ME!
Boogie - I go! I go!
Frogger - *crickets chirping*

The Ol' Man decided Tab would be the one to go. He just wanted to take it for a ride around the country block and make sure it was gonna get him to Indy tomorrow.

They left and went for their test drive. When they came home, Tab walked in with this "Holy Hell!!!" look on his face. The Ol' Man was as giggly as a school girl. I thought he must've just been driving crazily or something.

I asked Tab "So... how did it feel riding in a car of DEATH?"
Ol' Man busts a gut!!!!!
Tab "I didn't know that's what it was!!!!!!! Not until we were half way down the road and he told me. I thought you just put a table* in the back!"

LMAO - I guess when Tab was informed of what the car was actually used for, his eyes bugged out and he was ready to get out and walk home!

On another note, THANK YOU to all who stopped by Luigi's website. He's was thrilled to see that he had comments AND a subscriber. You guys are awesome!! =D

If any of you have children with their own blogs and you'd like me to come by and check them out you can either leave a comment here or at Luigi's site. You can also e-mail me at textimps [at] gmail [dot] com if you'd prefer to not publicize the address.

*Table - We are a fleamarketing family and any vehicle we've ever owned that was big enough to haul tables... has.

Lots of work to do right now. Dishes, baths to give, cleaning the house, making lunch... ya know.. all that super duper fun I'm the mom stuff.

I'll spare you a post from my tired mind and let you go check out my son's new blog. It's called Christian's Kingdom. Basically, what we're doing is, he does a recording and I type it all out for him. His recording are there on each post. Just a little warning -- If you decide to listen to the recordings, turn down your sound first and then adjust it accordingly. It's SUPER loud and I haven't figured out how to make it quieter.

His most recent post is an interview with each of his 3 sisters.... including the 2 month old. Needless to say, she kinda snubbed him. LOL

He just started the blog a couple of days ago so there's not much to read. But I'm sure he'd be all sorts of excited to see comments from people other than his mom & grandmas. I know he went crazy when he linked to Putnam Pig and Putnam came over and left a comment. (See. Blogrolls DO work)

Remember that he's only 8 and comments should be age appropriate. I don't mean baby talk LOL I just mean watch the language. Links should also be age appropriate. If, like my blog, it's not something he should be reading, then please leave it out. But you can come HERE and post your link. =D

Thank You in advance to all who go visit him =D
ChristiansKingdom.com

Green = My Own Picture


Red = This picture was stolen is being borrowed.



When I was a teenager, my dad bought one of these...



The Chevy didn't have power steering. My mom might weigh 110 (that's pushing it) and I remember her pulling herself off of the seat and hanging onto the steering wheel to try and turn the wheels.

My dad also owned this magnificent beast...



I loved riding on the back of that thing. The knots wind in my hair... the sunburn on my cheeks... the bugs in my teeth smile on my face... FYI - I even have a dog named Harley.

My dad taught me to drive a stick shift in one of these...



I almost killed us when I turned a corner to quickly and almost flipped the Jeep. Dad put his hands on the hardtop & his foot on the dashboard. I think I may have peed a little. The Jeep's radiator leaked and I always had to carry jugs of water with me. People would often point at the front of Jeep and throw hand gestures as to say "Hey, your car is peeing."

In high school I had the honor of driving my brothers and myself to school in one of these...



Ours wasn't as nice, but it got us where we were going. The Belaire had "three on the tree". It also had a windshield that leaked and a turn signal that was held on with a pipe clamp thingy. If the clamp loosened, the turn signal would hang between my legs.

Also in high school, my mom finally got car with less than 3 bazillion miles on it. She (through no fault of her own because my dad found a great deal) was the proud new owner of...



an Aspire. My dad's a big guy (if you couldn't tell from the Harley picture) and when he drove this car, he always reminded me of Bowser & Mario Kart.

My first boyfriend drove...



a '69 Camaro. It was the first car I ever drove at night.

The first time I ever got pulled over by the cops, I was driving...



A Chevy Blazer that had hit a deer and looked like it was gonna fall apart as it drove down the road. Actually, that's why the cop pulled me over.

On my 18th birthday I was driving a blue version of this beauty...



and I got into a wreck on the way from work to school. Yes, I wrecked my daddy's Caddy. Happy Birthday to me! Oh the shame!! I wasn't at fault and the car wasn't all that damaged, but it still sucked.

After I graduated and moved out, my dad bought me a little 4 door Chevy Cavalier. After driving it for a year or so, my grandma got a new car and I bought this one...



from her for $1. I gave my Cavalier to my brother. During one nasty tornado season, he parked the Cavalier in my mom's parking spot and it got crushed by a tree. That'll teach him!!

I was still driving the Mazda 626 when I met hubby. He, was driving this...



His was all decked out with KC lights and a huge push bar. I knew he loved me when he let me drive his truck. I also knew it was real love when he had a sticker with my nickname made to put on the back window.

A few years ago, we traded the Toyota to my brother. In exchange, we ended up with a teal...



'77 Chevy Van. This is another vehicle that has the manual gear shift thingy on the steering wheel's column. I LOVE!!!! this van! It's so loud! And has so much power! And I can smoke them hotrod boys off a line and make them blush like little girls.

With our first tax check as a couple, we purchased a....



Mitsubishi Mirage. After a few years and thousands of miles, the tranny went out and it took almost 3 years to find another for it. $500+ later and it's still sitting right there in the driveway where I took its picture. See the yellow cargo truck? Yeah... That's mine, too. What else is mine?? This thing...



It's a K-9 unit that was bought at an auction. I even managed to find an evil beast of a dog....



to go on rides with me.

This past week, we traded that '77 Van to another brother. Care to see what we traded for? Here it is....



Yes,that's right. I'm the proud owner of a 1986 Cadillac Fleetwood Hearse. Aint it perdy!! BTW, Its for sale. Anyone want a death mobile?

I called to put insurance on it earlier this morning. They asked me 100 different questions about it. They never asked me if I'd be hauling dead bodies, but they DID ask if I would be using it to transport migrant workers.

Well... I guess that's enough of that crap. Hubby's out driving this....



and this post has put me way behind on my chores.