I'm Outta Here

Just a friendly reminder from your neighborhood... something or other.....

In case you missed my post the other day, I've moved. Please come over to TextImps.com Please!! I'm on my knees begging.

Okay, so really I'm just sitting here looking at you. But it's a stern face. A face to fear. RUN! RUN I SAY!! RUN TO TEXTIMPS!!! (and don't forget to subscribe over there using the RSS stuff in the top corner or the google thingy over on the right)
Posted on 11:47 AM by Chris and filed under | 1 Comments »

I'm Packing Up & Moving

Well -- I've decided I'm done with Blogger. I'm taking my ball & I'm going home!!

This will be my final post here. Ya'll can find me over at Text Imps from now on. There's already a post over there waiting for you. Well, actually, ALL of my posts & all of your comments are over there. But.. I just published a post explaining why I've decided to move.

I hope you will all follow me over there and keep reading & commenting. You guys are awesome and you got me through some really rough times a couple weeks ago. I appreciate that more than you'll ever know. (Okay - Now I sound like I'm sucking up.)

So.... please head over to Text Imps & update your subscription thingies. =D I'll see you there.
Posted on 11:15 PM by Chris and filed under | 0 Comments »

Sometimes It's Worth The Wait

Yesterday, I was at Walmart. Yes, again!!! Sometimes I feel like I live there. Anyways... I got done with all of my shopping and made my way to the deli for some roast beef, ham & colby jack cheese.

While I was waiting for someone to help me, a little old lady pushed her cart up beside me. This woman had to be almost 100. She was so feeble that she could barely push her cart.

She waited there beside me. And waited... And waited...

After about 5 minutes of patiently waiting, I could see the woman starting to get as frustrated as I was. I looked at her, rolled my eyes in disgust and said "This is ridiculous."

We waited another few minutes and then, in the sweetest little old lady voice that I've ever heard, she said to me "You know.... this is bullshit..."

You got that right sista!!!!

And now... for your viewing pleasure... a picture of me, Princess, Tab & Luigi from about 3 years ago.

Posted on 9:28 AM by Chris and filed under , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

New Comment Thing - Again

ETA -- Let's try this again -- Something went wrong with the js-kit install.....

ETA -- ehh........ screw it ........... LOL

-- Post Deleted cuz I got irritated --

=D
Posted on 2:35 PM by Chris and filed under | 12 Comments »

Cleaning Out The Reader

I finally decided I was completely irritated with Google Reader. Every time I started following someone's blog, not only did it put it in my "following" section but it also added the blog to my subscriptions. That meant that my "gotta read it" count was always double.

SOOOO..... I just spent the past hour UNfollowing all of the blogs I was following. No need to worry though, you're all still on my subscriptions list. Well.... 90% of you anyways.

If I normally comment at your blog and you don't see me for the next week, gimme a hollah! I may have accidentally deleted you from my subscriptions, too.

This reader has started to take over my life. LOL I still have 66 blogs in my subscriptions and am thinking of cutting it down to about 20. But it's so hard to choose who I should remove. I've become glued to your windows and can't stop peaking in.

Moving on to another type of reader.... I'd like to discuss my daughter, Princess. A couple of days ago, she said to me, "Mom, do you know what they use to call black people?"

Instead of calmly discussing the issue, I blurted out "Yes I do and if I ever hear you use that word you'll be in more trouble than you've ever been in IN.YOUR.LIFE!!!"

I hate that word! I've used my fair share of filthy language but that's one word that has NEVER crossed my lips and one that my fingertips have never typed. I hate that word!!!

Guess who taught her the word..... I'm waiting.... Guess.....

It was her teacher. They are reading a book (yes, continuing to read the book) and it has that word in it. It's not an educational book that talks about the cruelty endured by slaves. No, it's a "just for fun" book. A book they're reading aloud in class.

She said that her teacher "didn't realize the word was in the book." Well, I suggest that from now on, that genius teacher of hers needs to read the book herself before she asks her students to read it. The nerve....
Posted on 12:01 PM by Chris and filed under , | 13 Comments »

Walmart To The Rescue

Yesterday, I mentioned going to to Walmart after the dentist. My face was still all numb and I was try to avoid eye contact with anyone.

There are always a lot of people at our local Walmart, but yesterday, there were twice as many as usual. Some genius decided that they'd take every 7th and 8th grader in the state on a field trip.

It must've been a home economics class or something. Each group of kids had a list of items and they roamed around the store looking at products and comparing prices & weights and ounces.

More than once I heard kids say "I can't believe how much food costs!" I even heard one rather snooty looking girl say "Omigosh!! I can't believe my mom pays that much for this. I'm never going to ask for it again."

The funniest part was when I decided to be my normal helpful self and offer some advice to the girls who were comparing spaghetti sauces on the eye level shelves. Yes, the $3 and $4 jars.

Anyone who does grocery shopping on a budget knows that you always look at the bottom shelf first. That's where they put the "cheap" brands. IMO, these are usually the better tasting brands, too. Instead of cheaping out on taste & ingredients, they cheap out on packaging. Fine.By.Me!!

So, there I am. Me and my half frozen, slobbering on myself face, trying to offer these young ladies some assistance. "Ah-ways ook down ear on-uh om sewf" *wipes her chin*

"Excuse me??"

So... instead of trying all of that again, I simply pointed with my foot to the cans of sauce on the bottom shelf. 95 cents baby! That's right. 95 cents.

"Much teaper d.d.d.d.down heeeeere"

"Oh yeah. I remember my mom always said that you gotta look by the floor to save money. Thank you"

"You Melcuh" *wipes her chin*
Posted on 9:54 PM by Chris and filed under , , | 8 Comments »

Novocaine For The Soul

I learned a couple of things this past Thursday. First of all, my body doesn't react to novocaine like a normal person's body would. *breaks out into song* Novocaine.... for the soul.... before I sputter out.

The dentist gave me one round of shots which included about 5 different insertions of the needle. He left me there to drool on myself and came back about 5 minutes later. "Is it numb?" "Eh... kinda." "Open... can you feel this?" "No..." "How bout th..." "Ahhh!!!" "Okay, let me numb you up a little more."

2 or 3 shots and 5 minutes later and we went through the whole thing again.

3rd time's the charm right? Nope.... it aint...

4 times? How about 4 times? nooooop.

The fifth time, he was apparently done screwing around. He got out a 20 foot long needle, jammed it into the back of my mouth and out of instinct, my right leg flew up through the air and almost kicked him in the head.

This one did the trick. I was suddenly numb from my shoulder to the top of my head. My bottom lip was laying in my lap, my tongue was hanging out like a dog in the hot sun and my nose had swollen to 10 times its size. Or at least...that's what my face felt like.

While he was gone, doing whatever it is that dentists do while they're gone, my body started shaking violently. The doctor came back in and told me that the shakes I was feeling were due to the numbing agents. I told him "oh I us ought I us cold" and then I wiped my mouth.

He pulled the tooth and led me out to the receptionist where I paid my bill and tried to sign my name. That was almost an impossible task because I was shaking so hard. When I tried to give my debit card to the woman, I looked like a 2 year old playing keep away. "You can't have it. Try to get it. You can't catch it." LOL Then, signing my name?? Ha!!!

Went out to my car and it took me a good 2 minutes to get the key into the lock. Another minute to get the key into the ignition. I drove about 5 miles to Wally World and by the time I got there. I had stopped shaking. It might've had something to do with the fact that I set the heater to 90 degrees. But I'm not sure.

Here's where I should explain that I'm normally a decently happy person. If you and I make eye contact, I'm 99% guaranteed to smile at you. Having a smile on my face just makes me feel better. Well... with half of my face numb, I wasn't doing a whole lot of smiling. I was actually trying to avoid it because, well, I looked like a freak. LOL

At one point, there was a woman coming towards me with a cart. We were doing the shopping cart dance where we'd each go to the same side and then turn back to the other side trying to avoid each other. This would usually cause me to laugh, and I was laughing, only it was just on the inside.

What the woman saw was some ticked off looking freak of a woman, barrelling at her with a shopping cart, obviously ready for a good game of shopping cart chicken. I could see the look on her face change from being a little giggly to "I will not be defeated!!!!!"

I pulled my cart over to the side and let her pass me. She pushed her cart by as though she'd just won the gold medal in the House Wife Olympics.

Tomorrow.... Walmart Field Trips For Rich Kids

But for now... please enjoy Novocaine For The Soul by Eels.

Posted on 11:28 AM by Chris and filed under , , , , , , | 13 Comments »