Boobie Boogers

I wanted to do this whole Fun With Google thing that I saw at Scientific Nature of the Whammy. But as I started doing my searches, I realized that my name has been taken over by one article after another about Christina Aguilera. So instead... you get to hear about boobie boogers.

This morning, Frogger woke up totally ticked off. She was screaming non-stop at the top of those powerful little lungs of hers. First, I checked to see if she was pulling her own hair, which she has a tendency to do. Yeah, she gets a handful of her hair, gives it a tug and since it hurts so badly, her arms start flailing and pulling harder and harder and she gets more and more pissed. Poor thing. I hope she figures it out soon!

Anyways, checked that her hair wasn't entangled in her little fist. All was fine. Then I undressed her and changed her diaper & clothes. Usually this calms her down and she'll start giving me those precious newborn smiles, but she didn't calm down at all. So I picked her up and was cradling her in my arms and she started rooting like she hadn't been fed since she was born 2 months ago.

I took her and laid down on the bed next to her and she started giving me hell. This isn't your typical little "I'm hungry" baby cry. No, no. She yells in short little segments like she's saying "Hurry the hell up! You're taking to long. What're you doing? Quit screwing off. Can't you tell I'm hungry?"

I get all set up and comfy and she gives me one last angry "Meh.na.blee.fu" and she latches on. She's going to town and I'm thinking "This is gonna really suck when she gets older and stronger. I won't live through it if she continues trying to suck my heart out through my chest!"

She's sucking so hard that she has pretty much stopped breathing. And then she lets out this huge breath. Along with the air comes this huge, nasty, green, slimy, snotty looking booger. Eww gross!! Now, being the mom of 5, boogers & snot don't really bother me anymore. But this was the first time I'd seen a booger shoot out of a nose and straight onto my boob. Bluck!

So I take my pinky nail and go to fetch this glob of goo off of myself. As I go to pick it up, Frogger inhaled really deep and sucked the damn thing right back up her nose. Bah...

About 5 seconds later, she exhaled and the booger shot out again. So, again, I go in to get it off of me. And again, she sucks it back up her nose. Have you ever had to time booger snatching? Yeah... not fun, is it?

This happened at least 5 more times in the span of a minute. Me, staring intently, waiting for the booger to reappear and Frogger screwing with me for making her wait so long to eat. It was at this time that I realized that my 11+ years of booger retrieval studies were failing me. It was also at this time that I realized that Boogie, my 3 year old, was really becoming independant. She goes after her own boogers now. She doesn't need her mommy anymore. *sigh*

On another note... This morning, after getting a few comments, e-mails and IM messages that my new design on Text Imps was "yay" and not "yuck", I went to look at my counter stats. Zero?? Zero hits?? Really? Were these people just yanking my chain? WTH? That aint nice. But suuuuuuuurely they wouldn't really do that.

Then, it dawned on me that in order to actually have stats tracked, you have to remember to put the tracker code on your site somewhere. Derrrrr

Thank you to those who went and checked out the new layout. And sorry for doubting you. Shame on me!!!
Posted on 10:07 PM by Chris and filed under , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

10 comments:

Michelle said... @ January 24, 2009 at 11:54 AM

That was hilarious!!
That google thing looks really cun. I will try it one of these days when I have nothing interesting to write about.

Stacie said... @ January 24, 2009 at 4:31 PM

hahahaha. I am a booger retreiver queen.

I don't know anywhere else I can yell that, but yeah.

Ginny Marie said... @ January 24, 2009 at 7:48 PM

Your new Text Imps design rocks! And I'm not just saying that. The boobie booger story was just plain funny! My very first blog post was about the same thing...but I'm just not much of a comedic writer.
http://lemondroppie.blogspot.com/2008/05/something-they-didnt-cover-in.html

Terri said... @ January 24, 2009 at 8:51 PM

LOL. Now this is funny. The things us moms have to do and put up with.

Chris said... @ January 24, 2009 at 9:20 PM

~Michelle~ It did look fun. I wish I could've done it.

~Stacie~ I'll fight you for the title. "In this corner..." lol

~Ginny Marie~ TY =D TY =D and Ewww!!! at your post.

~Terri~ You're preachin' to the choir, honey.

heartinsanfrancisco said... @ January 25, 2009 at 11:53 AM

Wow. I breast fed three children but don't remember anything about boogers.

Maybe that only happens with the fifth.

Michele said... @ January 25, 2009 at 12:45 PM

ewwww for such a cute little thing, that's a nasty story... but it was definitely funny LOL!

DancesWithPitBulls said... @ January 25, 2009 at 5:59 PM

wow I had the hiccups before I started reading this but for some boogerlicious reason they went away yay!

Trenches of Mommyhood said... @ January 28, 2009 at 9:54 AM

I'm cracking up laughing at your booger retrieval endeavor.

Is it bad that I LOVE to pick at my kids?

Chris said... @ January 28, 2009 at 2:20 PM

~heartinsanfrancisco~ I believe you may be right! I'd never had that problem either.

~Michele~ Admit it. You wrote "cute little booger" and had to backspace, didn't you?

~DancesWithPitBulls~ LMAO @ boogerlicious. Glad I could be of assistance.

~Trenches of Mommyhood~ They say you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose. Saying does NOT apply to children.

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Hey?? I moved -- You should be over at TextImps.com reading & commenting. Don't worry. All of the posts from here are over there now. See ya soon. =D