Someone Is In My House - Get The Gun

Since this is a fairly new blog and most of you know nothing about my personal life, let me give you some details so that this story will make sense to you.

The Ol' Man has 3 very annoying little yipper dogs that annoy the piss out of me. They're constantly under foot and in my bed and the only thing they're good for is waking up the baby. They bark at anything, everything and nothing.

I have a German Shepherd. She is my dog! She's a good dog and only barks & growls when it's actually warranted. (i.e. When a Sherrif shows up at your door at 11pm and you're home alone and he's looking for your husband to make sure he's gonna be at jury duty the next day.... ugh.. idiot)

I'm not a big gun person, so you'll have to bear with me while I explain this. You know that chuck-uh-chuck sound that a shotgun makes when you pull that thingy back so you can shoot it? You know... when you pump it?? Chuck-uh-chuck? You know what I mean right? Well, one particular gun that we own, that chuck-uh-chuck sound is VERY loud!!! The Ol' Man tells me that I never really need to load the gun. Just make that noise and "the bad guys will run away." LOL

aNyWhO... Saturday morning at 5:00 (before the sun comes up and before my brain starts functioning) my dog barked and woke me from a sound sleep. Then she started growling. And then... my front door opened. So I jumped up out of bed half naked... grabbed the gun... reached up and grab 2 shells... slammed them into the gun and CHUCK-UH-CHUCK BEEYOTCH!!!

"CHRIS!! IT'S ME!!!!! DON'T SHOOT!!!! CHRIS!! IT'S THE OL MAN!! PUT THE GUN DOWN!!!" Apparently mama gets a li'l gun happy when it comes to pruh-tectin her babies.

So let that be a warning to you!! If you say you'll be here at noon, don't come walking in the house at 5 in the morning. And if you enter my home while I'm sleeping, be sure and call out "CHRIS!! DON'T SHOOT!!" before you come to kill me.

This shotgun of mine is still loaded. I suggest you mosey on over to Text Imps and check out who we picked for Site of the Week and Post of the Week yesterday... before I hassa bus' a cap in yo ass.

... And I mean that in the most loving way. =D
Posted on 7:51 AM by Chris and filed under , , | 5 Comments »

5 comments:

Stacie said... @ February 3, 2009 at 12:30 PM

roflmao...you are a BADASS!

HeatherPride said... @ February 3, 2009 at 12:42 PM

Wow girl, you are my new hero!! That's impressive!

Ginny Marie said... @ February 3, 2009 at 8:19 PM

Love German Shepherds! Our neighbor has a yippy dog that will not shut up. Can I borrow your shot gun? Um, that's probably a bad idea!

Chris said... @ February 4, 2009 at 12:14 PM

@Stacie - And don't you forget it!

@HeatherPride - *strikes a super hero pose*

@Ginny Marie - Stock your fridge full of peanut butter sandwiches. When they start yappin, toss one over to them. Hahaaa

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said... @ February 4, 2009 at 5:31 PM

Yea, bust a cap in your a** in a loving way ... great stuff.

Thanks for stopping by my site.

AND I SOOOOOO promise to get rid of winter, and traffic, and construction on the highways, and rain on Holidays and weekends in the summer time.

Still looking for a campaign slogan.

And I think I'm gonna try to add a campaign promise to all of my blog posts. Just bouncing the idea around.

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Hey?? I moved -- You should be over at TextImps.com reading & commenting. Don't worry. All of the posts from here are over there now. See ya soon. =D